Shattered and Lost from a break-up?

3 Key ideas to help you Start Over

Are you devastated by the break-up of a long-term relationship or divorce?

Are you feeling shattered and demotivated? Are you terrified about the future? Are you starting your whole life over at age 30 or 40 or even 50? Are you trying and failing miserably to stay positive and having any kind of faith? Are you financially challenged? Is your future looking like a dark black hole?

You are probably thinking – How can I feel all these things and still move forward?

Let’s face it, these are life-changing events that emotionally shake and break you.  And Life After a traumatic experience, situation, divorce, separation, financial loss or death of a loved one is pretty daunting and shattering.  Trying to “stay positive” and “keep the faith” feels impossible.  And no matter how strong you think you are, unforeseen change can leave you feeling quite vulnerable and lost.

Even though you are feeling totally helpless and alone… you are not.

Here are 3 Keys to unlock the door to a new YOU!  Use these keys right NOW to feel more empowered and in control.

Key Step 1:

Focus on NOW

Become the master of living in the NOW!  The main reason you are feeling so lost, shattered and overwhelmed is because you are anxious about your future or regretting the past.  Your future looks bleak or perhaps non-existent.  Everything you’ve been dreaming about or planning has all of a sudden become a big black hole.  The person you saw yourself getting old with, is now out of the picture or you fear being homeless – whatever the circumstance, you have no idea about what the future holds…

Or are you looking at the past years and regretting investing so much of your time, energy and love into the relationship, your marriage, your career

Either way – past or future – these are mere mental concepts and they don’t exist in this very moment!  Your power is in this moment, right NOW.  Become the Master of your NOW and you will be capable of handling anything that happens in the NOW.  Play this game long enough and you will be fully engaged in your life – your real life and not thoughts about your life.

The present moment is your present (gift).  Be present and you will begin to create an empowering future… opportunities will show up and you will act on them because of your presence.   Empowering tools and resources will avail themselves to you to help you process the life-changing event…. This is the Power of Now!

Key to remember:  Your past DOES NOT equal your future!

Key Step 2:

Pain is inevitable… Suffering is Optional

It is important to always remember that everything in life is temporary… nothing lasts forever and that includes Pain!  The pain that you are experiencing right now will not last forever.  Pain is a fact of life.  It is only when you hold onto that pain and start feeling sorry for yourself, feeling like the victim that you suffer.  And suffering is optional!

You suffer from the pain when you feel powerless to stop the pain.  You suffer when you disempower yourself by saying things like “Why did this happen to me?” or “No-one is ever going to love me again” or “I am so useless, I couldn’t even make my marriage work” or worse yet, “I am not worthy of love”.

Stop!  Experience the pain – allow yourself to feel the pain.  Where do you feel it in your body? Tightening of the chest or perhaps an aching heart… feel it.  When you bring all your awareness to feeling the physical pain and fully accepting it, it becomes easier to let it go.  Focus on the physical pain and not the story you keep churning in your head.  The story you keeping churning is what’s making you suffer! That story is draining your power… it is disempowering you and depleting you of all energy to cope.  Stop it!

Look at the BIG picture.  Find an empowering meaning for your pain!  Tell a different story!  Have empowering thought like –

“I can do this!”

“I am a good person”

“I am strong and can get over this”

“One step at a time and I am getting stronger and stronger everyday”

“Life is beautiful”

“I am worthy of love”

Can you feel the difference between the empowering and disempowering thoughts?  One cripples you and the other lifts you and gives you hope and strength.  And YOU have a choice to choose the empowering thought … or the disempowering thought!

Pain can result in anger and resentment or it can bring out strength, love and spiritual fulfilment.  There is always a choice.

“Pain opens up a well deep inside of you… it is your job to fill it up with love or fear” — Anthony Robbins

Key Step 3:

Whatever happens… happens for the best

It might not seem like it right now… however if you look back in your own life or someone close to you, you will see that everything happens for a reason and for your highest good!  You can’t always see the reason when you going through the experience, but down the track you see the blessing in the way things worked out.

When you go through life knowing and believing that every problem or issue serves a greater purpose to somehow make you stronger and smarter, you look and find an empowering lesson in every situation!  Yes, even a devastating divorce has a rainbow at the end of it.

Some day you will find yourself saying… if I didn’t have this experience (devastating divorce or traumatic break-up, financial loss) I wouldn’t have had _____________   And this blank is going to be an incredible surprise that you can’t possibly predict right now.

Key to remember and a great framework for life is:  Nothing has meaning besides the meaning you place on it and it is up to you to choose an empowering or disempowering meaning for your situation, circumstance or experience.

Change your meaning and you change your life!

Heena Patel PH: 0402 961611